The jokes

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Not your grandpa, he crashed the plane.

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

Because they can go through 100 stories in 7 seconds.

Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?

They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.

What's the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?

What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?

Your momma is so ugly, the director thought she was a real zombie.

Who can jump the highest?

Emos, some of them are still falling.

I copied my friend's work. It's not like the teacher can tell my parents.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"

I was visiting an orphanage and started to pull in close to the building. My car hit 3 speed bumps, and it caught me off guard. I got out of my car, looked under my tire, and saw three orphans wedged in my tire. I started to get worried, but then I thought to myself... nobody will miss them.

What is the best feeling for an orphan when he plays Grand Theft Auto?

When he is wanted!

If Hitler had a cooking channel: Step one... Turn on the gas.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV.

His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuUDeEeEeDrrrrrrrrr!!!" "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!!!"

I am the worst joke ever. Get it? My whole life is a joke.

What's the difference between Monday and a dick?

They're not different. They're both unnecessarily long and hard.

A guy was in one of the Twin Towers and he ordered pepperoni pizza, but he didn't get it. He got a plane instead.

Satan and the devil are alter egos.

Jesus and Satan are just basically Homer and Flanders. One tries to help the other, only for Satan to just say, "Shut up!"

Are you the Twin Towers? Cause I'd love to take you out. 🤭