The jokes
I was going to give my wife chocolates, but my fat friends ate them.
Wife: "You don't even have friends!"
"Why didn't the boy pick up his ice cream?" - Margaret
"Why?" - Depressed boy
"Because he got ran over." - Margaret
"I wish that was me." - Depressed boy
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
A 14 year old girl finds out she is pregnant. Her: "Crap! My mom is going to kill me!"
The fetus: "lol same here."
What's the difference between the righteous and a sinner?
You decide.
The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
What is a kid's favorite thing to do with their dad?
Play pretend dog in the bed.
What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.
What's the similarity between gay men and an ambulance?
They both take it in the back and go woop woop.
POV: The quiet kid starts playing "Pumped Up Kicks" in the parking lot before school.
:me😐
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?
Both get food thrown at them some of the time.
What's the same about a newborn and a football?
You can kick them both very easily.
One day, a class of children were killed in a bus accident, but only some survived. One was praying that he would survive, and the other said, "First time?"
What do you call a group of depressed people? The Suicide Squad.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?
Snowballs!
You know you're fucked when the speed bump screams.
It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.