The jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
911, they went through 110 stories in 8 seconds.
Why were the people in 911 devastated?
They ordered extra flavored pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
How do you win a game of musical chairs? You steal the chair!
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
Can an orphan child be arrested for vandalism, or will the officers ask for their parents to talk to?
What happens when you work in the Twin Towers? It connects to airplane WiFi.
How did the flapjack feel when syrup was drizzled on him?
Butter.
After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"
Why canât the blind man find love?
Itâs called love at first sight.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to get to the other side.
What did the star say? It's Star Trek.
What do orphans get at restaurants?
The family meal.
"Youâre the milk to my cookies."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
The S in America stands for safe.
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."