The jokes

What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.

My girlfriend is growing watermelons, not in the ground though (we had fun that night)!

My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

Why did the orphan try to get hurt?

Because then they would get surrounded with people who care about him.

He looks around, no one is there.

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm tonight.

What's the difference between Jesus and a picture? You need only one nail to hang a picture.

Why did Queen Elizabeth the II die?

Because she ran out of immortali-tea.

Why do orphans have water with their cereal?

Because the dad never came back with the cow.

What's the difference between me and an orphan?

At least my dad came back.

True story: my math teacher Mr. Ueberoth accidentally marked a Kahoot as 100 points in Google Classroom instead of 10. If he doesn't find out, the grades will be more hyperinflated than Zimbabwe's economy.

I was walking this hot girl home, then she noticed me, then the walk turned into a run.

What do you call a dude that is always high and gets higher than everyone else in the family? The alpha pothead!

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

A man sees a small boy begging for money. He walks up to him and asks him if he is an orphan.

The boy asks, "What gave me away?"

The man responds, "Your parents."

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

I was going 80 in a school zone and the speed bump was screaming.

Why aren't Down's syndrome jokes funny?

Because the format of them is ugly.

Your hairline is the road to Eastern Cape.