The jokes
Q: Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
John and Chloe are in school arguing about who has the more heroic grandfather.
Chloe says, "My grandfather killed 50 Nazis, he's so heroic!"
John says, "So what? My grandfather KILLED Hitler!"
A grasshopper tries playing cricket. It failed and got eaten by the bat.
What did one orphan say to the other orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
What did the acute triangle say to the obtuse triangle?
Nothing, triangles can't talk.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
Why don't pirates take a shower before they walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they got excited and asked if I could drive a B-52.
This song is sus, because I’m happy. Clap along if you feel like happiness is the root. What are you clapping?
I'm looking for the bartender.
Person named Bart:
I don't understand why people hate it when they hear a dad joke. They are actually pretty funny, and I will show you Y. (shows a picture of the letter Y)
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water.
Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.
My country is so corrupt that it voted me as the most sexiest man.
Victory assured, I will continue like that till I'm six feet under.
I have a green ball in one hand and one in the other. What am I holding?
Shrek's dick.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
What place has more boys than the Catholic Church? Michael Jackson's bedroom.
You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.
Why did the duck cross the road to get some quack?
What did one ass cheek say to the other?
"Blimey, what's that smell coming from the corridor?"
Why was the American kid late to school?
Because he was too busy putting on his bulletproof vest.