The jokes

What’s the difference between an orphan and a tomato?

The tomato gets picked.

Why was the Tower of Pisa always leaning?

Cuz it wanted better accuracy than the Twin Towers.

You're so fat, when you went on the scale it said "to be continued."

You're so fat, when you went on the weighing scale, it said "to be continued."

I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.

One day, a girl was showering with her mom. She pointed at her mom's breasts and asked: "When can I get these?" Her mother replied: "In about 6 to 7 years when you grow up :)".

The other day, the girl's showering with her dad, and she pointed at his penis and asked: "When can I get this?" Her dad looked around and replied: "In about 20 minutes when your mom leaves the house."

An Asian student was learning logarithm in class. He wrote down his name after the question. The teacher asked why. He replied, "My class ID is number 1."

Face the truth, Jake could have went on the door, but Rose wanted him to die.

"Joe Mama so fat she plays pool table the Earth."

Your mama is so fat, when her husband said, "Let's go to the Super Bowl," she bought a spoon.

She got on the scale, said "to be continued."

Bully: I wouldn't bother wasting my time on a shit person like you.

Me: At least I have a brain unlike you.

Bully: Well at least I have a mom unlike you.

Me: Well your mom is so fat that she got stuck in her car and started bleeding Nutella?

Bully: How would you know that?

Me: Because she told me herself.

Bully: How exactly?

Me: She's on the phone right now.

Phone: *High pitched animal noises*

Me: Told you so!

Your hairline is so far back, it makes the Giant from Clash of Clans jealous!

What is the worst thing that Nazis have done?

Adolf Hit-her.

What's the difference between apples and orphans? Apples get picked.

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away.

Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".

Why don’t spiders go back to school?

Because they learn everything on the web.

Why did the sick juice tree go to the hospital? Because it needed lemin-ade (not the cool type of sick, the one where you are in the hospital). Lemin-ade 1st ade.

I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.