The jokes

I was at work and a few fat women came up to me and asked for some help.

Later that week, I ran into them on the dance floor. One of them asked me if I wanted to dance. I told her no. The other asked me if I knew what was cracking. I calmly said, "The floor."

People definitely have the N-word pass in Africa.

What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?

"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"

I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"

What has two wings and an arrow?

The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.

Q: What's another name for cumming inside a woman?

A: Loading up the dishwasher.

It's always the little things that make us laugh.

What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?

I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?

"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."

Attended my boss's funeral to pay my respects. On my way out, I leaned over his casket and whispered lightly, "Well, look who's thinking outside the box now."

NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".

SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.

WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.

I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia.

She whispered, "They're right behind you!"

What did the Indians say to the Arabs? "We are going to make 10/12!"

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

Yo mama so fat when she goes to the shoe store, she needs to take their advice and get XXXXL.

Bro, your hairline is so far back not even Dora the Explorer can find it!

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.