The jokes
How many CIA agents does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
They don't need lightbulbs--they glow in the dark.
Yo mama's so fat, when she went to the beach in a blue dress, everyone screamed "tsunami!"
Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?
He didn't either.
Which falls faster, an apple or an emo kid?
The apple, because the emo kid is hanging.
How do you get a party started in Africa?
You put a slice of bread on the ceiling and everyone will be jumping.
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
Men should pay for the first date, that’s why it’s called a (men)u.
Then women should do the dishes, that’s why they call it a dish wash(her).
When Chris Brown heard he wasn’t the only one to hit a woman.
Stop the cap.
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Was threatened with legal action off my postman this morning!! I was stood havin a smoke when he asked if my dog bites, I said no. Halfway down my path the dog jumped up and bit him on his testicles!! Screaming out in pain he Said I was a lying bitch cos I told him my dog didnt bite!! Told him mine doesnt!! that wasnt my dog!!!
After having a win at bingo, Ethel splashed out on some venison for tea.
During the meal, her daughter asked her mum what it was, to which she replied with a little smile... "It's what I call your father."
Little Jimmy threw down his knife and fork and jumped up sayin', "Oh My God! Don't eat it!!! It's a fucking Dick!"
Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
Why did the AI go to school?
To upgrade from "Artificially Intelligent" to "Artificially Hilarious"!
Ha ha ha. It is so funny. I hope you enjoy, fellow humans.
The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
What's another name for cumming inside a woman?
Loading the dishwasher.
What did the egg say to the tuna?
Yo mama is so ugly that if she went on stage, the show would instantly say, "And that's a wrap!"