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The jokes

What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.

What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.

One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.

We got Spider-Man Homecoming, Spider-Man Far from Home, then Spider-Man No Way Home, considering society’s current state and how shitty 2023 is, the next movie is probably gonna be Spider-Man Homosexual.

What’s another name for nutting in a woman?

Loading the dishwasher.

"What’s your name, son?" the principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” "Do you have a stutter?" the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”

The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.

They’re always so twisted!

I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.

Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?

Because the white guy actually did it.