The jokes
Why couldn't the Japanese man give a high five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
Why did the guy get the hose?
Because the girl was smoking hot.
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
Science flies you to the moon.
Religion flies you into towers.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
When you send a dick pic and she sends one back,
I'm glad mine is the biggest, so I get to fuck my dad again.
What's black, white, and red all over?
A nun that fell down the stairs.
What's black, white, and laughing?
The nun that pushed her.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To die.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."