The jokes
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.
Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.
Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder failure.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?
Because he didn't have the guts to do it.
Doctor: I'm sorry, but you still have 10 seconds left.
Man: What?! What about my family?! My son is still missing! I can't just leave like that!
Doctor: Don't worry sir, I told your family.
Man: That's... great... if they found my son, tell them that I love him more than anything and I couldn't keep that promise.
The doctor watches the man closing his eyes while tears fell down from his eyes.
Doctor: I will... dad...
Tq for reading my crappy joke.
Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?
Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some marijuana. Jack got high and slapped her thigh and said "you know you wanna". Jill said yes, pulled down her dress, and then they had some fun. Silly Jill forgot the pill and now they have a son.
I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
How did the Mexican girl get pregnant? Her teacher told her to do his essay.
Q: What time does an Asian go to the dentist?
A: 2:30
An Asian man goes to the eye doctor.
The doctor says, "It looks like you have a cataract."
The Asian guy says, "No Doc, I drive a Rincoln."
I wonder why the plane got bigger and bigger, then it hit me.