The jokes
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
Theyβll hear the one word they hate the most: βSTROKE, STROKE, STROKE!β
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
Penaldo song π΅π΅π΅
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Whatβs the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
Whatβs the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.
Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."
I only have 4 moods:
β’ fuck this β’ fuck that β’ fuck me β’ fuck you
I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:
β’ fuck yeah β’ fuck no β’ fuck my life β’ fuck everything
and don't forget the inevitable
β’ fuck it
and for those who have just given up
β’ fuck
This is beautiful.
A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"
Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"
The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."
Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.