The jokes

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Why can orphans get away from the FBI?

Because they don't have a house.

My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

Divorced.

A guy stuffed some cigarettes up his eyes thinking it would make him see colors.

The next day, he could see only one color... black.

What are the similarities of an orphan and a water fountain?

They both sprout water.

Why can't orphans go on field trips?

They don't have anybody to sign the form.

Why can't homeless people buy a house?

'Cause they live on the streets.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The 9/11 victims. They went through 200 stories.

I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner.

The joke is I knew right after she said, "I'll call you," she was lying to me, not surprised even a little.

The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call, but did I really think she was going to? I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place? I think it was just to prove I was right, I'm unwanted.

LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS.

What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?

Breathing exercises.

I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!

My mom told me to get off the computer or she will slam my head into the keyboard.

I don't think she lskdjfklsdjf.

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.

One day a rooster fell into a swimming pool and a cat laughed. And the moral of the story? A wet cock can always satisfy a pussy.

How do pirates like their movies?

You already know the answer, don't you?

Well...

ARRR rated! Huh huh huh...