The jokes
When your cousin who has a lisp died from the impostor in Among Us,
"THE IMPASTA KILLED MEH!"
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
A policeman found a dead body of a man on the street. He thought he recognized the body and the 2 friends he usually hung out with, so he called in one of the friends.
The friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." The policeman called in the 2nd friend. The 2nd friend looked into the dead body's face and said, "Yep, that's definitely Joe," but then, to be absolutely sure, he turned the body over, pulled down the back of his pants, and said, "Oh no, wait, that's not Joe." Confused, the policeman asked, "How is it that when you look into his face you're sure he is your friend, but when you look at his ass you're sure he is not?"
The 1st friend said, "Well, you see, Joe has 2 assholes." "Are you serious?" the policeman asked. "Oh yes," he replied, "we've never actually seen them, but when the 3 of us hang out together people point and say, 'Hey, there's Joe with those 2 assholes.'"
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? π (Itβs all about how you pronounce the end.)
The cashier kicked me out because when he asked for 99 cents, I gave him 99 scents.
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
Theyβll hear the one word they hate the most: βSTROKE, STROKE, STROKE!β
For all the Harry Potter fans:
A VPN is occlumency for smart devices, and our ISP is a legilimens.
Penaldo song π΅π΅π΅
He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez
Why can't the orphans play baseball?
They have no home to run to...
The guard caught one of the fugitives as he tried to escape. All he said was...
"Don't let your guard down."
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
Everyone give this joke a thumb's down and see if it can become the worst rated joke on the site.
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Whatβs the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
No one shuts up about them.
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.