The jokes
Teachers: Whenever there’s a school shooting, hide under the desk.
Students: Hiding under desk.
Shooter: Well, no one’s in here!
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
POKEMON THEME SONG JOKE: I wanna be the berry best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real pest, to brain them in my toss. I will gravel across the land, perching war and wide. Fuse Pokemon to under-strand, the lower that's in psyche.
Poke him on! Gotta joke them all it's Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you're my pest friend, In a world you must de-blend, Poke him on!
Gotta joke them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!!
Gotta joke them all, Gotta joke them all!
Poke him on!
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?
To the mew-seum!
What fruit do scarecrows love the most?
Straw-berries.
Why did the Irishman use three condoms? To be sure, to be sure, to be sure!
How do you recycle a condom? Turn it inside out and shake the f *ck out of it!
What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?
Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
Why do a woman like to have sex with the lights off?
They can't stand to see a man have a good time.
What did one nut say to the other nut? "The guy in the middle's a dick!"
What did Cinderella do when she got the ball?
She gagged and took it like a champ.
Why the "hell" is this here?
You say this to your friend, "Damn, your nuts are bigger than mine!" *thinks the wrong way*.
Friend: I must order more nuts.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
How does the cheetah do in every race?
It’s always a cheetah.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
What's missing in an orphanage computer?
"The motherboard."
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.