The jokes

I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.

What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? She can wash her crack and resell it.

Two boys came home for dinner late, and their mother asked, "Where have you boys been?" One of them replied with, "We were all over the neighborhood, we're mailmen now." Their snobby teen sister said, "Well, you're not real mailmen, real mailmen use real letters." Then one of the boys said, "Actually, we used real letters, we found a whole box of them under your bed."

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Why do tryhards use Fennecs? It looks better than the Octane.

Why does nobody know that an Octane is a Fennec in disguise?

They have the same hitbox.

What's the special part of town called? Downtown.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He had no balls to do it.

Me and the boys are cool.

My mum said not to walk the streets because I won't find home the next day. I was an orphan.

I was in math class, and we were learning geometry. My teacher said, "PENTAGON!" then all of a sudden, PENALDO burst into the room! He thought we were talking about PENS, so he came looking for some because he's a finished pen merchant! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my education! 🤬

What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

When you ask your friend, "Can I hear a joke?"

"Sure."

"What do orphans and orange peels have the same?"

"What?"

"They both get thrown out."

Why did the orphan get 1 mark out of 6 from a project yesterday? Because it was a family tree project.

My friend told me to beat that pussy up... so why is the local animal control at my door?

Why was it wrong to throw my Chinese friend down the stairs?

What do emo kids scan at the store? Their wrist.