Takeover jokes

Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

What do you take care of after a car crash?

The witnesses.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I stole her wheelchair.

But I knew she'd come crawling back to me.