Takeover jokes

There are three states you don't mess with when trying to take over the United States:

Alaska because they have three times more guns than people because of the bears.

Texas because, well, it's Texas. Where else have all of the guns been going?

Lastly, Florida. Florida is the absolute definition of Trigger Happy Redneck.

Q: Why aren't there any Walmarts in Afghanistan?

A: Because there's a Target on every corner.

Who is going to start the robot takeover? Me.

I’m taken, taken my own life, bitch!

I don't like to use the word "kidnapping". So I just use the term: "surprise adoption."

I don't like the term "kidnapping." I prefer "surprise adoption."

Kidnapping is just surprise adoption.

I adopted you. Now say goodbye, you missed your Spanish lesson...