SS Jokes

Mississippi

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

Water

It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"

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  • Rose

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, You a dumb a** b*tch, We all know it's true.

    Fight

    We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:

    1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.

    2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.

    3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).

    Grandpa

    Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

    Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

    Jim: SS.

    Me:...

    Jack

    Jack and Jill went up the hill.

    Jack fell down, his ass was bound, and Jill continued up the hill.

    Jack came back and beat Jill's back, and he got the ultimate kill.

    Ass

    What does "A" say to "ss"?

    "We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."

    Solution

    What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

    "You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"