What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner?
Lester Piggott's.
Sport Jokes
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don’t know where home is.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite football anthem?
You'll Never Walk Alone.
As a son, I like sports, and I watch sports with my mom. So one day, we were looking at football. My mom asked me who makes the most money. I said the quarterback.
My mom told me I'm going to get a quarterback as my new boyfriend, and it'll be your new stepfather. A week later, my mom went out. I came home, and I see my mom making out with a high school kid. I said, "What's going on?" My mom said, "Look, my new boyfriend and new stepfather is the high school quarterback." My mom said, "See, mission accomplished." I said, "Yeah, job well done."
Mommy, Mommy, are you an archer?
"Shut up and keep the apple on your head still."
Why do orphans hate playing baseball?
'Cause they can't get a home run.
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they don't have a dad or mom.
What is the worst player in basketball? LeBron James.
Why couldn't the orphan play baseball?
Because he had no home to go to.
Why can't orphans hit a home run?
Because they don't have a home to run to...
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball?
One gets picked for games.
Why can't orphans play cricket?
'Cause they don't know where the home is.
Saying a Kobe joke after he died tends to ignite a fire in the people you say it to.
How do you ride two bikes at once?
You ride them in tandem!
Why do orphans miss half their basketball games? Cause they don't have home games.
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why couldn't an orphan play baseball?
He couldn't find home plate.
