Sponsorship jokes

Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.

Recent attempts to defund Special Olympics have organizers scrambling to come up with more corporate sponsorship... targeted companies include:

Kleenex

Depends

Bicycle Helmet manufacturers

Velcro Shoe manufacturers

Steven Hawkings Publishers

Your teeth are sponsored by gap.

Your forehead’s so big it got sponsored by GAP.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I was very lonely so I bought some shares. -- It's nice to have a bit of company.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to "Just Do It."

I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

I now have $999,999.75.