Speech synthesizer jokes

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

Stand? Wait. No.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"

Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.