Speech synthesizer jokes

Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?

Because he can’t do stand up.

Can't wait for Stephen Hawking's next update.

Stand? Wait. No.

"What do we want?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

"When do we want them?"

"HEARING AIDS!"

When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Teacher tests Little Johnny, “OK, Johnny, create a sentence which starts with ‘I’.”

Little Johnny confidently starts, “I is...”

Teacher snaps, “No, Little Johnny. You must always say, ‘I am’.”

Little Johnny sighs, “Yes ma’am. ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’”

Google is a woman because it doesn’t let you finish a sentence before it makes suggestions.