SOS jokes

I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.

I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"

Why are quadriplegics so unsympathetic? Because they only have feeling in 10% of their body.

They have a new line of socks for paraplegics.

They are so comfortable they can't even feel them.

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  • Yo mama so fat and old, she lifted her boob to wash under it, and a pilgrim fell from under it.

    Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

    Yo momma so stupid... weather man says it's chilly outside... instead of a jacket, she gets a bowl and spoon!

    Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.

    A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.

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  • Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.

    There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.

    When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"