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SOS jokes

Yo mama is so fat that you should really take care of her because diabetes is a serious problem and she might die.

There were these three men; their names were Shit, Shut up, and Manners. One day, they were riding in their car, and Shit fell out, so Manners went out to pick Shit up, and Shut up went to the police station.

When he got there, the police officer said, "What's your name, son?" and Shut up said, "Shut up." The officer replies with, "Ummm...excuse me?!" and Shut up said, "Shut up!" and the officer said, "Boy, where are your manners?" and Shut up said, "Round the corner picking up Shit!"

So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?

... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

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    • A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"

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    • Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?

    Bruce Lee was no joking matter.

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    • A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:

    Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"

    Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"

    Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"

    Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.

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    • The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...

    so Trump can't tweet it.

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    • My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

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