SOS jokes
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.
Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover. One of her friends asks, "When was the last time you had an orgasm?" She replies, "3 days ago." Dad comes bursting in, "I KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT!"
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris, but not about Bruce Lee?
Bruce Lee was no joking matter.
Why are mountains so funny? Because they're hill-arious! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, very funny!
Yo mama is so ugly, she makes the devil read the Bible.
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
So what if I can’t spell Armageddon? It’s not the end of the world.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
Simba was walking too slow so I told him to Mufasa.
Why do French people like to eat snails so much?
They can't stand fast food.
Chuck Norris once heard nothing can kill him. So he tracked down nothing and killed it.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Yo mama is so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and walked out with a job application.