SOS jokes

Say this to someone who is fat that you don't like (make sure he's a virgin):

"You're so fat you can sell shaaade!! That's why you're a virgin and you masturbaaate!!! Yeah, I've see you, touching your 1 centimetre and if you have a gf she's is a cheater!!"

Make sure to say "shaaade" not "shade". And say "maturbaaate" (also try to say a D not a T in maturbaaate) not "masturbate".

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

Bully: I bet your dick is so small when you look down you can't see it.

Guy: I don't, I see your mom.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

Your forehead's so big, when you were being born, the doctors thought you had no face.

I love Stephen Hawking jokes so much because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

The reason I love Stephen Hawking is because they roll off the tongue so nicely.

So last night I went on a taxi and I showed them your photo. All they said was I could ride him, it would be expensive though, since from his eyebrows to hairline is at least £100.

Yo mama so fat that the Avengers team had to snap five times and say, "Oh my God!"