Your breath is so bad that when Santa came to your house for your present, he brought toothpaste.
Your mum is so fat, when she slept on the bed, the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinosaur.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Your hairline is so far back I need binoculars to see it!
Your hairline is so bad that the queen died when looking at it!
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Why do orphans play tennis?
So they can finally get love.
Why are Asian's dicks too small?
So they can reset the calculator.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where the naughty girls live!
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
My dad told me Santa was black, so instead of cookies and milk waiting for him when he came down the chimney, he got cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash of Clans? Cause they already lost two towers.
Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.
Why should cemeteries be built next to orphanages?
So the orphans can see their parents.
Your forehead is so big, when you go to the toilet, it bends. You stooped.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
There was a kid in my class who said my face looked like a physical reaction (we were learning about that stuff at the time), so I said I made a chemical reaction with his mom last night.
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
