I'm such a good babysitter because the last person I babysat was so flat.
SOS Jokes
"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"
"He died."
"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."
(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"
I get so many things stuck in my head, though, unfortunately none of them were a bullet.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Your hairline is so messed up, I thought a 2-year-old cut you up!
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Your dad's hairline was so long that he died.
Your hairline was so fat that Joe Biden could not make it prime minister.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales said, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"
You're hairline is like I was so fat Dora the Explorer couldn't find your numbers!
Your hairline is so long that your mother could not brush your hair.
TJ's hairline so far back you still couldn't find it when the Devil was alive.
Being a police officer in Nunavut must be so fun. They get to play Cut the Rope on the job all the time!
Follow me.
I heard a noise, so I'm dead.
Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."
911 what's your emergency?
"Burning in toaster."
"Toast?"
"Yeah so your calling 911 because of burnt toast?"
"Set fire to my forest!"
Your hairline goes so far back, your forehead got a six pack.
Get a calculator.
Okay, anyways, Sally has 69 bottles of boobs (because she is a cannibal that collects boobs) and her friend said it was 222 many. She got caught by the police and was taken to 51st Street. She got arrested for x8 days, so she was BOOBLESS.
My dog died. I'm so sad.
Your forehead is so big, I took a picture of it last Christmas, and it’s still printing.
