Just watched my friend take a steak out of her pocket. That steak was so outta pocket.
My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."
Your mom is so fat that she can't get internet because she is worldwide.
My friends were worried that I was making suicide jokes so much, so I said, "Don't worry, you won't have to hear them much longer."
"in chess, a queen can move in more directions than the king"
I mean yea the chess board looks like kitchen floor so-
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
Yo mama so fat, when she was telling me her weight, I thought she was telling me her number.
Yo mum's so dumb, she went to the library to find Facebook.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
You look nice, and you seem like good fun, so if I give you this flower, will you finger my bum?
What do you call a depressed person holding a knife?
Freedom yay! (so funny ikr)
My mate caught me sniffing his disabled sister's knickers the other day. It wouldn't have been so bad, but she was wearing them at the time. It made the rest of the funeral so awkward.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
So who did it? the I.S.S. teacher said.
1 hour before:
So let me get...
Random person: Wait, what? You BROKE UP WITH HER!
Me: I SWEAR, JHONNY, THIS IS THE 3RD TIME YOU BUTT INTO MY CONVERSATION! SO... HERE... YOU... GO! *punches*
TJ hair line so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.
Tj's hairline is so far back, Blue's Clues can't find it.
