SOS jokes
Your mama's so fat, when she grew an inch, she pushed the Earth down.
A man was walking home but felt tired, so took a short cut through the cemetery. He then heard a tap, tap, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw a man with a hammer hitting the tombstone. The man said, "You scared me. I thought you were a ghost." The other person mumbled, "They spelled my name wrong."
Why are corners so hot?
They are always 90 degrees.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so they could fuck in the water. But Jack forgot to use protection and now they have a daughter.
Sorry for this Pick Up Line.
Are you a building? Because I rate you 9/11, so let me put my plane in and let kids fall out.
Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.
I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.
And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.
Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in a monster truck, it turns into a lowrider.
Yo momma so fat, Santa said, "Ho, ho, ho, I've gotta go!"
Why are people so worked up about 9/11? They were just playing Jenga.
What's the quickest way to get to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found.
What do you do after raping a deaf person? Cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone.
MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;]
I was struggling on a math test when a girl in a wheelchair leaned over and said, "Hey, this is the easiest thing I've done all day."
I was triggered, so the next day when we were doing the pledge, I leaned over and said, "This is the easiest thing I've done all day!"
I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:
The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"
I got these two people in my class we call them Twin Towers, so when I heard about it I threw a paper airplane at them.
What do eggs use in war? Eggk47s get my yolk this is really cracking me up!
They’d probably get shellshocked, wasn’t it all eggcellent? Ok, Ok, I’m headed for the egg-it.
Why did the new egg fell so good? It just got laid.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
I wanted to do something nice for my uncle, so I cleaned out the nice vase that was given at grandma's funeral. It had so much sand, I'm glad to help.
Why is Chloe's forehead so big? Because her forehead is king-size.
You're so ugly that your birth certificate is an apology.