You're so fat the only letters of the alphabet you know are K, F, and C.
Your hairline is so far back trump was ashamed
Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.
Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.
My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.
Yo mama so fat, when she had an interview for NASA, they said, "We don't hire planets."
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
"Yo mama so fat, she thought Saturn was deez nuts."
There was 1 gay guy, who kissed 4576 gay guys. Then had sex with them, creaming so hard, all of the dicks cumming on his face.
Then he stopped and had sex again x6, now he was left with...
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa said he had a glimpse of it in the 1960s.
Your hairline is so messed up, it made Jeffrey Dahmer cry.
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Your Mom is so fat she can be trumps border wall
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
