SOS jokes

They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.

Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.

I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.

Your mama so fat when she steps on the scale, the scale said, "I'm trying to get your weight, not your phone number!"

Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."

Why do Emos love Christmas? So they can pretend they're ornaments and hang themselves on trees. Hope you liked it, happy holidays!

Why do orphans like boomerangs more than their parents? The boomerang comes back.

One day I saw a kid cry, so I go, "Let's go find your parents." I miss my job at the orphanage.

Why do orphans get lost on boats? They can't find the home room.

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.