SOS jokes

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

You guys are literally mentally ill. You should get some help. This is so disgusting, ew!

My grandpa said this generation relies too much on tech, so I unplugged his life support.

The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.

I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.

Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"

Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!