I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."
What’s the difference between a whale and Lizzo?
Absolutely nothing.
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
What went through the heads of the people on the 142nd floor during 9/11?
The 143rd floor.
What do you call an Indian in a shower?
A cleaner.
Why can’t the disabled kid live on the corner?
Because he’s disabled.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
What’s the difference between an ant and an orphan?
The ant knows where home is.
We should really stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad.
Why did the orphan sit alone in the corner?
They wanted some family time.
What's the fastest way to stop an argument between a bunch of deaf people?
Just switch off the lights.
Q: Who is Tracy Latimer's least favorite rapper?
A: Monoxide Child.
What do Germans do to ask a question? They salute.
What’s the difference between a woman and a policeman? One of them have rights.
I'm offended.
- Liberals
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
An Asian gets a choice between his rice cooker or his son. He instantly picks the cooker and says, "He got a B+ in maths last week; he's a failure!"
I went up to an orphan bully and I said, "Here, look, I made a website!"
The orphan likes it, but the kid says, "I forgot one feature, though... the home button."
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
Why can't a citizen in communist China, especially a Chinese male who is between 18-29 years old, buy a box of condoms in a drug store in communist China?
Because the condom would be too big for the penis of Chinese men in communist China.
