Sisters jokes

My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.

I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"

I told my sister to make a noise and hear what she said... "Cuckoo coo chew." #Owl🦉

My dad came out of my step-sister's room as I came out of my step-mum's room.

My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was a blow job.

What’s worse than banging your sister?

Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.

Parent: Have you seen your sister?

Son: No, the last time I saw her was when we were playing hide and seek.

A brother and a sister always kept fighting. One day the brother said, "You're adopted!"

Then the sister replies, "At least they wanted me!"

The brother yells back, "Well, at first, when they didn't know you'd turn out like this."

Me: What did my sister do when she dressed up as Elsa and I gave her a balloon?

You: What?

Me: She let it go, let it go!

Hey, my sister said you're Mattick, so I decided to swim with her and she threw a ball at me, so I went to my dad and she said, "Why did you tell dad?" She was crying because I’m not getting a car seat.

Hi, are you even my sister?

Yes, I am.

No, you're not, because you never even existed as my sister.

Kid on Xbox: I'm not a virgin. Ask your sister.

Bully on Xbox: I don't have a sister, dumbass.

Kid on Xbox: You will in 9 months.

My mom told me to look for a bill in her file at her home office. Instead, I grabbed my sister's adoption papers.

A sister went to her brother's room and says,

"I'm scared, can I sleep with you?"

"Yes, sis."

"What is this?" (pointing at his dick)

"My pet snake."

"Can I pet it?"

"Yes."

He wakes up in a hospital.

"What happened?"

"Your snake spit on me, so I bit his head off."

"You dummy!"

"Whaaat?"

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

What do you call a crazy-in-every-way sister?

A sissy.

My sister said I'm stupid today, and she's the one who wrote this.

My sister said to kill myself, so now I’m in the hospital hoping to die.

how old are my girlfriends

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters

I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.

The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.

Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister.