Simpin jokes

when you don't have a phone to play Fruit Ninja and improvise.

Hey Siri, where is my dad?

Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!

Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.

...WhAT-

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

I got an orphan an iPhone 6. I told him to press the home button. He has been doing it all day.

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.