What did the policeman shout to the cow running away? Get to the ground beef
I saw my midget neighbour at a bus stop
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home" I said.
"Bugger off" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man" I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
jack and jill went up the hill to get to the house they turned the lights out the jill shouts ITS A DILDO WTF?
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like usa and China and the rest of the west!
Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, Daddy came in with the lady next door, and they started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off Daddy’s clothes, and Daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of Daddy and started...”.
The mother cuts him off and says, “Just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” A couple hours later, the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face, shouting, “I’m leaving you... Go ahead, Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs, and my ball got away and into your closet. When I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door, and you both started hugging and kissing. The lady next door took off your clothes, and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed. The lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing Mom did with Uncle Joe last summer.”
I was driving with my parent and shouted, "It's a superhero!" But I didn't know it was an emo kid.
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers. He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away
The cycle of Pionel Pessi:
-Ghosting👻
-Diving🐬
-Complaining to teammates😡
-Complaining to refs🤬
-Missing sitters🤦♂️
-Gets a lucky open net tapin⚽️
-Proceed to get 🐐shouts
-Repeat🔁
People with REAL ball knowledge know he’s just an overrated tapin merchant 😭
Two friends were walking in a forest they started to fight. A cannibal came and shouted food fight!
A guy walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says: If i can suprise you, i get a free drink. The bartender was unsure but agreed. The guy pulled up a 30cm long pianist out of his pocket and he starts to play The bartender was suprised and gave the guy a free drink The guy then sais: You see, i have a little wizard in my pocket that grants wishes, can i get another free drink if you get a free wish? The bartender agrees without hesitation The bartender wishes for a 1000 bucks, but he gets a 1000 ducks WTF! the man shouts. The guy answered: Did you think i wanted a 30cm long pianist
I screamed "Jenga" today in class while watching a 9/11 documentary.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy you've worked out it is ak but what is 59 minis 12. Timmy shakes his head not knowing the teacher asks how about ak 49 minus 2? Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells What comes after ak Timmy!? The white kid at the back stands shouts 47 and pulls the trigger.
Bf :- babe are you traffic police? Gf :- No Bf :- then why do you shout at me not wearing the helmet ?
Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"
A man runs into a church and shouts are there any dawarf nuns in the monsistary,the pope said no causing the man to say to his friend I told you you fucked a penguin
somebody shouts "fire!"
man1 - get the children out man2 - f*** the children man3 - we dont have time
There are two kids sitting in a classroom Lily and john Lily sleeps in class everyday.The teacher asks lily who made heaven and earth john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY teacher says that's right the teacher says the next day she asks the same question john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY that's right the teacher says next day she asks lily what did Eve say to adam after their 100th john pokes her again IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IMMA BREAK IT IN HALF she shouts.
I pushed an orphan in a wheelchair into a fire and yelled hot wheels
Fella walks past a mental hospital, there all out in the garden behind this big fence . All SHOUTING 13 13 13 13. Ect Over and over again ..
This fella is intrigued sees a little hole in the fence Looks through it .. GETS FUCKING POKED STRAIGHT IN THE EYE ..
Then they all start singing
14 14 14 14 14 14 ;)
Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.
They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."
Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.
He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they're doing.
"Well, we can't pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!"
Satan realizes he's been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it's at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.
He knows he's won now, so he goes back to the Canadians' room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.
He shouts at them in fury, "WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!"
They look at him and shout at the same time, "Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!"
