Shout jokes

The streets go blank in the dead of the day, not a car to be seen.

A kingdom of corona-cation, and it looks like mom's the queen.

The wind is howling with this virus in the air.

Couldn't keep it in China, everyone knows it's everywhere.

Don't let friends in, don't be afraid.

Be the good girl you always have to be.

Conceal, don't feel your insanity, that the virus caused!

Don't let it go! Don't let it go! You have to hold it back a little more! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Turn away and slam your doors!

I don't care what the government says! Let me go to my friend's house.

Sickness doesn't get to me anyway.

It's funny how some distance makes everyone insane, and the fears that once controlled me are here and present, oh well!

It's time to see what I can do to test the limits and break through!

No right, no wrong, but stay inside!

WE'RE NOT FREE!!

Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Be one with the peace inside!! Don't let it go! Don't let it go! Watch sad movies and cry!! Here I stand!! And here I'll stay!! 'Cause I have nothing better to do.

The virus flurries through the air into my house!

The storm is spiraling, fear and fractals all around!!

And one thought makes you wanna scream and shout out loud!!

What if we never go back? What if the past is in the past????

DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! And you'll rise at the break of noon! DON'T LET IT GO DON'T LET IT GO!! That's morning girl is gone!! HERE I STAND IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT 'CAUSE THAT'S WHEN I WOKE UP!! Let the virus rage on!!!!!! The sickness never gets to me anyway. DING.

I wanted to have sex, but I share a room with my brother, so we made a code. "Tomato" for faster, and "cheese" for more, and I shouted, "Tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese." My brother said, "Stop making sandwiches, you're getting mayo on my bed!"

How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?

Four fingers and a Thu'um.

A man is out west driving and on the edge of town comes across a tourist stand and sitting in front is an Indian chief right out of central casting. Dour look, full headdress, a glass jar and a sign that says "Indian chief know all! $5". So the fellow's curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the chief, puts $5 in the jar and asks "What did I have for breakfast on this day 10 years ago?" Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Hmmm eggs. You had eggs!"

"Eggs?" shouts the guy "Everybody has eggs! I've been had!" throws his hands in the air and leaves in a huff.

Ten years on, as fate would have it the fellow has occasion to be driving through the same town and sure enough he comes across the same stand, Indian chief, sign, and jar. So he stops the car and saunters across the road, goes up to the chief like a smart-ass, holds up his hand and says "How". Chief taps his chin for a moment and says "Poached."

Public speaking is a more popular fear than snakes, and you don't see anyone walking in Australia and shout, "Look out! A podium!"

My son asked me, “What is angel cake made of?”

I reply by listing the ingredients in Mr. Kipling angel cakes. Then he shouts “STOP!” I stop as I reach food colorings. He slowly crawls towards me and says in a whisper, “Well, in my angel cake, I put angels in them.”

I freaked out about this, so I calmed down and asked who did you put in this angel cake. He said, “Grandma, the one who died last Saturday.”

A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

The sexual shout "Yes Daddy" probably originated in Alabama.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

My grandfather was there when the Titanic sank. He shouted 3 times that it was gonna sink until they finally kicked him out of the movie theater... haha

A man is meeting a client in Japan, but arrives a day early. When night hit, he went out with a prostitute. They're having sex, but the prostitute kept shouting "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!", so the man thinks he's doing a good job. The next day, the man meets his client and they go golfing, and the client gets a hole in one. The man praises him by going "Fuji, Fuji, Fuji!". His client turns around confused and says, "What do you mean wrong hole!?"

So, I was getting on a plane, and the pilot does his usual speech talking about altitude and what not with the microphone, and he forgets to turn it off, so after the speech I heard him and the co-pilot talking about what they were doing after work, and whatnot.

Then the pilot said he was dying for a blowjob and a coffee, so a stewardess ran to the pilots cabin, and then left about 15 minutes later, and the pilot shouted "Next time don't forget the coffee!"

A Japanese, Hispanic, and Iraqi man are in a plane. The Japanese man drops a bowl off of it and shouts "I love my country!" Then the Hispanic man drops a burrito off the side and shouts, "I love my country!" Finally, the Iraqi man drops a bomb and shouts, "I love my country!"

Not much longer on, a man walks by a boy who is sitting by a crater laughing non-stop. And the man asks, "What's so funny?" And the boy says "When I farted, my house blew up!"

The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,

"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,

"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,

"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,

"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."

Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".

There were three boys on the top of a slide.

The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"

The FBI said, "Open up!" I shout to them.

A person said, "Cookie sale." I opened up. He fucked me.

My wife and I were at the park with our little princess today.

We decided to go back home, then some jerk had the nerve to shout, "Stop those two! They have my daughter!"