Scotland jokes
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
Why do you Scotchmen wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Nessie is dying.
The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and the EU.
Last night I was watching a Scotland Christmas movie...
And the part when Mary tells Joseph that she is pregnant, Joseph was surprised, and he exclaimed, "Jesus Christ!!!" I immediately stopped watching and changed the channel.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
Did you hear about the Scottish man who murdered his wife?
He totally kilt her.