Stephen Hawking was a bit of a hardcase. He didn't let people push him around.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
It's me. I can't get in because Stephen Hawking is in the way.
Knock knock. Who's there? Stephen Hawking. Wheelie?
What does E.T. stand for? Because he has little legs.
What does S.H. stand for? He doesn't.
What does S.H. stand for? Shit happens.
Stephen Hawking's best subjects were Physics and Maths. His worst was P.E.
What color is Stephen Hawking's house?
It's a bungalow.
According to scientists, there has been a discovery of water on Mars.
Mars-1
Africa-0
Yo mamma so fat, scientists say she's the closest planet to Earth!
Have you ever walked past Stephen Hawking's house?
No, well neither has he.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:
"UNKNOWN"
Most of us have been somewhere Stephen Hawking hasn’t: Upstairs.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking during a house fire.
What do you call someone smart and dead?
Stephen Hawking...
I love Steven Hawking's stand-up comedy!
There were 3 blonde scientists...wait that’s not the joke. The first one said “we are going to pilot the first unmanned spacecraft to land on the sun.”
The second one said “but we can’t do that - if we get within 5 feet of the sun we’ll freeze to death!”
The third blonde says “so we go at night.”
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
