School Shooter jokes
When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.
A school shooter enters a kindergarten classroom. Little Timmy says, “He’s my daddy!”
The teacher, Mr. Mortez, screams. Little Timmy then says, “Mr. Mortez, my daddy says you’re a big fat whale and he wants to roll you all the way to Canada!” *pushes Mr. Mortez* Little Timmy says, “Hail f**king Canada!”
I recently learned that it's politically incorrect to talk about taking part in a school shooting.
Apparently the term "school photos" is more acceptable.
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
I went fishing with my grandpa, and my fishing line caught the attention of a school of fish. I told him to get my gun.
A black man said, "Where are the young ones?"
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
Like a shooter says, "I put the fun in funeral!"
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen.
He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
Why are Americans so good at shooting?
We have the best schools for it.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.
How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?
When you're in the middle of a test and you hear gun shots.
What’s the difference between a feminist and a school shooter?
A school shooter actually makes an impact on its targets.
How do Americans learn the metric system?
9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
The school shooter encounters the emo kid. He reaches for his gun, but the emo kid disappears. He then finds that his gun is not on him.
When you let the school shooter borrow your pen so he doesn't kill you.
Why are most school shooters mostly white?
Because Black lives MATTER.
What does the school shooter do after he shoots a victim? He shoots more kids in them!