A father of a young girl comes and meets the doctor.
Father: Doctor, how is my daughter's report?
Doctor: Congrats, your daughter is pregnant.
Father: WTF ?????? My daughter is 10 years old and unmarried.
Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
