Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?
Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.
Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.
A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
