Remote Control jokes

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.

Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?

Because it can't find the home button.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

Why did the school go remote?

Because the teachers wanted to play with remotes!

Gaming with the gaming controller.

Guys to wind the clock up?

"Bob it, twist it, pull it, hit it, turn it, twist it, slide it."

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).