Remote Control jokes

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?

An RCXD (remote control explosive).

They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room. Then my TV started to float out the window. I said, "Drop it, nig-"

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?

An RC-XD.

My girlfriend left a note on the TV saying, "This isn't working!" I don't know what she's talking about, the TV works perfectly fine.

Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?

Because it can't find the home button.

I hope all of you had a great merry Christmas, a happy Hanukkah, a good whatever you celebrate! I got so much this year, over $300 of fishing gear, a small 2011 coin mint collection, some coins from the Nazi party, a remote control car, 100 dollars, and more. Say what you guys got in the comments.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

Dear disabled people, just go to the settings and enable it!

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

My Xbox has been acting up lately... So I painted it black to make it run faster.

When you're working in the Twin Towers and your computer connects to the airplane wifi.