Quote jokes

R. Kelly contracted COVID-19 recently. He was quoted as saying it was the first time he caught a case of anything over 18 in years.

I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"

If it's true what they say and I quote, "God never gives you more than you can handle," then you should pray to those who didn't, that God gave them a body strong enough to survive the attempt.

Two people are under the covers. The man says, "Quote the Beatles: Come together!"

I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...

What time is it? It's time for lunch.

*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*

"'There is no God.' - Stephen Hawking (2011)

'There is no Stephen Hawking.' - God (2018)"

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

My favorite quote will always be, "Sketchy candy is better than no candy."

- One of the thousands of missing children.

If Adolf starred in the Room, his most iconic line would be “I did not Hitler! I did not!”

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

My teacher told me, "You have no idea how powerful this quote is." I looked at her and told her, "You don't know how powerful the shotgun in my bookbag is."