Push ups jokes

"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he's pushing the Earth down.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.

Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:

1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

I'm thinking of getting a job as a gardener--pushing up the daisies!

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Alright ALYA and drew ALYA's boyfriend!! Have a good fucking life, I hardly even think drew is real but uk whatever I've passed on but DREW if u fucking wanna beef, I'll fight u bro, ur prob a stick, I'm fucking doing push ups 4 times a week 100 each.

What kind of exercise do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

You use your legs as support, you count on your fingers.

Here’s a trick I learned to do on the calculator.

Sally had 69 boobs (69) which was too too too many (69222), so she went to the doctor on 51st street (6922251), and he said to take a certain pill 8 times a day (6922251 times 8), which left her (flip your calculator over)

Boobless.