Proportion jokes
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
Your forehead is so big, I could land a jet plane on it.
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
Google search = 3.141592…
I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?
3.14% of sailors are... π-rates.
What's 9 divided by 11?
Well, I know it's less than two alright!