Presidential jokes

If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.

I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.

We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.

What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?

Answer: Hair Force One!

I, for one, wish Donald Trump was President again. It's been a while since we had a presidential assassination.

👱‍♀️ 👱‍♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?

A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.

The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?

Because it is politically motivated.

What record did Obama prove during his presidency?

No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.

What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?

Your mom finishes.

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea Clinton.

I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...

Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.

What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?

A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.

President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.

Oh well, that's politics.

Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"

Why were Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy very wise presidents?

They both had an open mind.

JFK was one of the most open-minded presidents. It really blows my mind how great he was.

Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?

He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.

Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.

The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.

In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!