Presidential jokes
Your hairline is so long that sometimes even the president doesn't know where it ends.
What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?
A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
What's the difference between your mom in bed and Biden in the presidential race?
Your mom finishes.
What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?
An escort.
What record did Obama prove during his presidency?
No matter how far a brotha gets in life, he'll still be in government housing.
I was voting for Trump in the 2016 election. It's been a while since the last presidential assassination...
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Hillary Clinton is elected president...
And on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Listen to the people."
She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."
On the third night, she is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"
The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."
JFK and Abraham Lincoln were terrible presidents. It's like their heads were empty.
👱♀️ 👱♂️What is the difference between two blondes and a Libertarian?
A Libertarian hasn't won a presidential election since 1972, and two blondes are too stupid to run in a presidential election.
What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?
Chelsea Clinton.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
Decisions taken by world leaders often have great significance during a crisis.
The Americans, in particular, are suffering many losses during the current global pandemic. Remember, in the 1980's they had Ronald Reagan, Johnny Cash, and Bob Hope.
In 2020 they have Donald Trump, no Cash, and no Hope!
John F. Kennedy: "Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head."
If Donald Trump is running against Bill Clinton, it's safe to say that we are witnessing the Lolita Express Erections...oops, I mean Elections.
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What is the difference between the President of Ukraine and the President of the United States?
The President of Ukraine is a comedian, and the President of the United States is a joke!
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.