Poker jokes
What did the adopted poker player say?
"Will you raise me?"
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Life is like a game of poker, guys start by going with them clubs, ladies follow with a set of hearts, guys put down the diamonds, and before you know it you got a full house.
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
My friend and I were playing Poker... And my friend also beat me with Jackass.
Why can’t an orphan play games with a full house in them? Because they don’t know what a full house is.
Stephen Hawking was incredible at poker, he had no tell whatsoever.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
How do you beat Lady Gaga at Texas hold’em?
Poker face.
The QUEEN took a shit at the poker table. It was a ROYAL FLUSH.
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
Why are orphans bad at poker?
They don't know what a full house is.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
A pedophile is sitting at an empty poker table. An eight-year-old kid asked him if he could sit down. The pedophile says to the child, "Sure, let's play."
A pedophile is playing poker with 8 seven-year-olds.
The pedophile has a pair of 7's and three 4's in the river. He smiles and says, "Yay, I got me a full house!"
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!