Phoenix jokes

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

Bertold Brecht & Tork Poettschke visit the places of their youth together. One says to the other: "Here used to be the Phoenix Lake. Where did he go?" "That was probably a pirate ..."

My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.

The number 13? Not on my watch!

NASA found water on Mars.

Mars - 1

Africa - 0

My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*

Me: Yea-

My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*

Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-