PhD jokes
What do you call a spice with a PHD?
Dr. Pepper
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The Blonde got a Ph.D.?
Yeah, like that would ever happen.
What do you call a rapper with a PhD?
A rap scholar.
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What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and the computer he's hooked up to? The computer runs.
Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because it has a million degrees.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
A woman comes to the doctor and tells her, "Doctor, my husband wants intense sex all day, what should I give him?" The doctor says, "My number."
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Don't worry, Stephen Hawking isn't dead.
They have just got to copy and paste his memory onto a USB.