Patrick Bateman jokes

What does it mean when a man has a dodgy past? It means he has skeletons in his closet.

What does it mean when a man likes Lana Del Rey better than Ed Sheeran? It means he has a closet full of women's leather pants (but no women in their dating history).

People judge me because I'm quiet.

No one plans a massacre out loud.

That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.

You gotta give it to JD Vance. He is consistent; he is Putin his dick where it don't belong!

Well, somebody has to cushion the blow.

My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.