Paperweight jokes

How do you stop your newspaper from flying away in the wind? -- Use a news anchor.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

Losing weight is a piece of cake. Just don't pick it up.

If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.

How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.