Outing jokes
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Have you ever been to the ocean? Well, the smokers out there probably only seaweed!
When she says she wrestles, so you pull out your dick and she punches it.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Chuck Norris hasn’t decided yet when Jimmy Hoffa can come out.
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Teacher: Tell me what's the solution of this equation? 30g + 24y + 15a - x^3 = 0
Student: 69 gay = xxx
Teacher: You're out!!!
Student lies down on the floor, and then teacher starts f...ing him ^_*
😂😂😂😂
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
I told a joke to an orphan, turns out he wasn't an orphan...
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken was in 666 pieces after being molested by Gerard brutally with a rail gun covered in spears covered in his lymph. His beak was ripped open and shoved in his feet after glass shards were shoved into his eyes until they came out the other side. His feet were nailed to the ground.