Outing jokes
Why did the ox get kicked out of the herd?
Because it wasn't being an ox, it was being a butt-ox...!
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
Salman Rushdie got a new book out.
It's called "Buddha. You Fat Cunt."
My friend told me an emo joke once, and I said, "Emo jokes aren't funny, cut it out!"
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
Why did I f*** my dad?
So I could have s€x without my mom finding out. Should I not have done that?
So I walk into Orchids Of Asia. I come out three minutes later with the best massage of my life. What's the catch? Aye, there, matey, the catch of the day be crabs.
How do you get two deaf people from fighting?
Turn off the lights and walk out.
A dad and his son walk out to the middle of the woods armed only with a shovel and a lantern.
Son: "Dad, it's creepy out here!"
Dad: "You're complaining? I'm the one that has to leave the woods alone!"
After the shooting, people were asking why they would do it.
They wanted to stop but it turns out they were playing an online game.
Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.
How Steven Hawking died: because he moved too much during the day and ran out of juice.
I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
"Hi, Mrs. Jackson, can Matt come out and play?"
"Oh, Johnny, you know Matt doesn't have any arms or legs."
"I know, we just wanted to use him as third base."
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.